Blonde One-Liners

Blonde Key:
Q: - stands for question.
A: - stands for answer.

Q: What did the blond say when she opened up a box of Cherios?
A: Oh look, little donut seeds.

Q: How many blonds did it take to change the lightbulb?
A: 5, one to hold the lightbulb, 4 to turn the room around.

Doctor (using a stethoscope): "Big breaths."
Blond: Yeth. And I'm not even thickteen yet

Blond #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
Blond #2: "No, who wrote it?"

Q: What do you call a blond with a high IQ?
A golden retriever.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!

Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just dyed her hair.

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A: She didn't like it 'cos she couldn't get channel 9....

Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!

Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?
A: All you can eat, under a buck.

Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.

Q: Why do Blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax)
A: Because they can spell it.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces themself.
A2: Walks home.

Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear?
A: Data transfer.

Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: Because they don't know any better.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: "What's a lightbulb?"
A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"

Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine?
A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"

Q: What does a dumb blonde say when she gives birth?
A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?

Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's mine?"

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.

Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Is it mine?"

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?
A: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.

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